Balancing Parenting with Other Life Pursuits

My little family taking a walk on Pacific Beach in San Diego.

I’m currently reading You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay and finding so many gems. The premise of this book is that most physical illnesses stem from emotional roots. She doesn’t believe all illnesses can be cured through spiritual/emotional healing but her own story is one where she did in fact cure herself of cancer through forgiveness and claiming her worth and power. The book helps readers to change our thought patterns and inner selves, which inevitably affect our outer selves.

In the back of the book, she lists all sorts of physical ailments and the emotional/spiritual causes of those ailments. Thankfully, I don’t struggle with many health issues but I did see one that struck a chord with me. I struggle with nervousness from time to time and it read that the probable cause of nervousness is “fear, anxiety, rushing, and not trusting in the process of life.” The corresponding prayer to this condition is: “I am on an endless journey through eternity, and there is plenty of time. I communicate with my heart. All is well.” 

Those words penetrated my heart. I am on an endless journey through eternity. There is plenty of time. Trust in the process of life. 

I confessed in my Lunar New Year’s post that I tend to be impatient and want to rush certain projects and dreams. But as much as we can’t rush the growth of a flower from a seed, we can’t rush dreams. The process—trusting, waiting, and gaining experience—is integral to the ultimate manifestation. 

One particular area I struggle with in regards to this is wanting my kid to grow up. Funnily enough, we even want a second child but not because we like the early stages of parenting, far from it. It’s actually because when we take the long view in life, we want a home filled with children and grandchildren. But the first part of all this with the diapers, toddler tantrums, the incredible demands of parenting young kids is…grueling. 

I constantly fantasize about weekend trips to a cabin in the woods all by myself just to write and take long walks. Alternatively, I fantasize about wearing expensive clothes that don’t get dirty with grubby toddler hands all over me all the time.

I often want to rush these early stages because I’m desperate for alone time and for my body and everything about it to be mine again. 

What I hear from the other end, from those who have done the parenting thing and whose kids have left the nest is, Don’t rush this. They grow up so fast. I hear their words. I do. I just hear them with my ears and not with my heart. 

So in light of that solid advice and Louise Hay’s sage wisdom, I wrote this short letter to myself. I’m a fan of writing letters to myself to get through to my thick head. Perhaps this will help those of you who also have young kids or who are rushing another part of their lives and not trusting in the process of life.

…

Dear Lydia, 

I know you’re tired. I know you have yearnings. I know you have a limited amount of time and energy to pursue those yearnings while at the same time be a mom.

Be a mom.

Don’t rush it. 

That time with a meticulously decorated home with yoga mats rolled up in a golden weaved basket in the corner will come.

The excess of time to write, exercise, dress stylishly, and travel will come.

The energy to cook and eat healthier, go on dates and have that chic Away suitcase that everybody cool seems to have these days will come and you’ll even get to use it. 

Those times will come. It will come like a flood and for an extended amount of time that you’ll wonder why you ever wanted it so quickly.

There is no need to feel deprived. That time will come in abundance, in an over-abundance. So much so that you’ll wish for those days to come back and to hear his words, “can I sit on your lap?” and “will you play with me?” just once more.

Right now is the time to be crazy, overextended, tired, in love, exploratory and curious. Be with your child. Notice the wonder of his world—this world that he is experiencing with his young eyes for the very first time.

That other stuff you want so much. I promise you, it will come. And you will still be young and healthy enough to appreciate all of it. 

Trust in the process of life.