The Big News

I shared my big news with the church this past Sunday.

So…I’ve been referring to this “BIG DECISION” in my blog and now, the cat’s finally out of the bag. You can hear the big news in my sermon from this past Sunday or read the transcript below.

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A childhood friend of mine and I took incredibly disparate paths as we grew older. She became a staunch republican while I became a staunch democrat. She forwent college in favor of becoming a massage therapist and joined the military quickly thereafter while I went to a traditional liberal arts college followed by graduate school. She had three kids before I had my first one. She likes to travel around the world while I like to stay in one place. And, she’s a social butterfly while I’m a homebody.

To this day, we are still the bestest of friends. 

Now that we both have kids, it’s a special treat when we get to spend a weekend together in some fun destination in the country without the demands of our families and careers.

It was my friendship with her that made me realize just how different people can be

and how individuals don’t always derive satisfaction and fulfillment from the same things (may sound rather simple but was a profound realization for me).

For instance, for the past four years, she was stationed in central California (she was stationed in Colorado before that). I was thrilled about her being in California because it meant she was a bit closer to me and much closer to her parents.

But recently, she and her family were sent to live in Virginia, thousands and thousands away from her parents, relatives, and friends.

When she told me this, I was appalled and said, “oh my goodness, are you going to be okay without your support network?”

She, of course, true to her nature, responded, “I’m so excited! I’ve never lived on the east coast before so this is a dream come true.”

Once again, reminding me how uniquely all of us are wired. 

It may come as no surprise to you, especially because I’ve shared with you all several times, just how hard it was for me and my family move to San Diego, which is not even Virginia to California but a mere two hour drive away.

Even still, it has been a struggle for us because we can’t stop by my brother’s home and let my son play with his cousin,

I can’t meet up with my close friends for breakfast at a local diner,

my parents can’t come over to babysit our kids so James and I can have a date night.

When the bishop and cabinet called me two years ago to let me know they had discerned a new appointment for me, which would be a huge promotion and one I was supposed to be thrilled about, 

I was surprised by the grief I felt at the prospect of living so far away from my family and friends–my support network.

I said yes because the invitation sounded too good to be true and I wanted to see if I might be wrong about my nature…that maybe perhaps I could be the type to adjust to new locations, make a new social network quickly, and even come to love an area that’s not my own.

And while I fell completely in love with this congregation of St. Mark’s and all the people who make up this congregation, and the staff, which, by the way, is the most phenomenal staff I have ever worked with, from the worship team to the pastoral staff to the administrative staff to the preschool staff to the custodial team…

my homesickness and sadness from being so far from everything and everyone familiar to me never went away.

So after many, many months of struggling, praying, and discerning,

I recently met with the district superintendent and requested to leave this appointment in order to move back to the LA area and be closer to my family and friends—a support system I am in desperate need of at this time of my life of raising two young children.

But instead of being reappointed to a church in the LA area, I will actually be going on family leave for two years, which for me, is basically an extended maternity leave so I can be a stay at home mom for a while and enjoy my kids.

Because that’s the other part that played into my decision making…

It was informed by many older and wiser folks like yourselves, who, when I would complain about how challenging and demanding this time was,

with the sleepless nights, lack of free time, constant disorder in the house from toys sputtered in every inch of the floor,

would say to me with a smile, “Enjoy this time. It goes by so, so, fast. And when your kids are all grown up and have gone away, you will ache for these sleepless and chaotic days once again.”

So in order to do right by this time, and knowing full well that I will never get this time back, I’ve decided to just take a break from full-time ministry and be a stay at home mom!

This doesn’t mean I will lose my ordination. That will stay with me until I die and I do fully intend to remain involved in ministry by being an active part of a local congregation, leading workshops and retreats, and continuing to write. 

But that kind of work will be much more flexible than the work of a full-time minister of a local church.

I know this may come as a big shock to many of you…as you (and I) didn’t expect this to happen when I came to this appointment initially. I thought that this would be my home for the next ten years.

I just couldn’t escape the constant homesickness that hung over me like a dark cloud and this intense desire to be a mom for this time of my life.  

I will, however, still finish out my appointment year until the end of June so I’m not leaving any time soon. We don’t have to say our goodbyes just yet. We still have many months together.

Because of the nature of the United Methodist appointment system, I had to announce my leaving this early as the cabinet needs to know all of the openings so they can begin putting the new clergy into place.

I have no idea who will be coming after me, but I do know that our Staff Parish Relations Committee has met with a member of the cabinet and has expressed their needs and desires so I am confident the person who is coming will be a very good fit and hopefully, be here with you for much longer than I was able to be. The Staff Parish Relations Committee will most assuredly let you know who your next senior pastor will be once that person is identified.

I’m sure many of you are wondering now about Reverend Jeri and you don’t need to worry about her leaving (although all methodist clergy are aware of our itinerant system, where we may be reappointed by the bishop to another church at any time). The bishop and cabinet are very aware that Jeri has been a constant and stable rock during all of the transitions St. Mark’s has experienced for the last three years and they acknowledge the great value in having stability during times of change.

In the gospel passage for today, Jesus’ parents take Jesus, a young child at this point, to the temple to fulfill a traditional Jewish purification rite for firstborn sons. Jesus’ parents are alarmed by how two people, who have been waiting many years for the arrival of Jesus, respond as soon as they see Jesus. 

The first is Simeon, a man described as righteous, devout, and filled with the Holy Spirit.

As soon as he sees Jesus, he says, "Dear God, now you are dismissing your servant in peace, according to your word; for my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the presence of all peoples, a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your people Israel."

Jesus’ parents, as you might imagine, are taken aback hearing these words about their child.

The second person who is mentioned in this gospel lectionary passage for today is Anna.

An older woman, she worshiped in the temple day and night and prayed for the redemption of Israel. Her entire life was devoted to waiting for and praying for the arrival of Jesus. So when he and his family enter the temple, she immediately recognizes his true identity.

I thought it was interesting that this was the gospel text assigned for this morning because in some ways, because of my brief stay with you, I have seen my role as a sort of preparer for the next chapter of St. Mark’s.

In the Episcopal church, most churches are required to have interim priests between their long-term priests because interim ministers bring a unique gift of being able to see the congregation from a more detached manner and help them to figure out their true authentic identity, which then helps them to step into the next phase of their life in an empowered way.

Though I still have 5 more months of work to do, I feel I have been able to do this. I, in partnership with Rev. Jeri and the SPRC have put together a new pastoral staff, identified young family ministries as a strong priority as the demographic of this area becomes more skewed to that population, identified Sunday morning worship, as opposed to an alternative service, as the most important point of connection with God and one another, which has also led me to build a preaching team in order to diversify the voices of the pulpit, thereby enriching your spiritualities by broadening your theological vocabulary and showing you the multitude of ways people relate to God.

I believe I have left a strong trail of breadcrumbs for the next minister to pick up and accelerate the growth that I foresee in the future of St. Mark’s.

Now, there is one important distinction between the situation in the gospel passage for this morning as well as our situation and that is this: Simeon and Anna were preparing and waiting for the messiah.

Let us not be deluded into thinking that the next person who fills this position will be the messiah you have been waiting for to fulfill all of your dreams for the church.  

I assure you that kind of thinking will set up all parties for great, great disappointment.

We have no messiah but one.

And when he resurrected, he promised us he would be with us always, in the power of the Holy Spirit,

who is with us and within all of us, and most strongly present in the gathered assembly, which is, the church.

So while I have been praying and preparing for your next minister,

the truth of the matter is: your hope and salvation lies most strongly

with you.

This body.

The church.  

You don’t have to be afraid of me leaving

or anybody leaving for that matter

For your hope and future never rested with me to begin with.

It always rested with you.

It has always and will always be your church to guide and lead and to bring into greater fruition

to serve God and serve neighbor

and by doing those two things, healing our world.  

I will definitely miss you all greatly. It was you who made my decision so hard to make because I fell in love with you guys.

I won’t say more about this because I don’t like long goodbyes

and like I said, I still have 5 more fantastic months with you all!

In the wake of this announcement however, let us remember that all of us are ministers of Christ to the world and that God is always with us throughout every change and transition, guiding us and supporting us through it all.

Thanks be to God. Amen.