Take It Easy
Image from The Fox and She
The pace of my life has slowed down immensely since I left my full-time job. At the same time, the past few months have been fraught with the stresses of moving, settling into a new place, and trying to figure out a new schedule.
Last week, all of these stressors caught up to me and I sensed a cold coming on with a sore throat and continual migraines.
It occurred to me that since I moved, I had not had even one single day of rest. When I wasn’t doing childcare or taking care of other necessary responsibilities, I filled all of my free hours with writing, cleaning, or unpacking.
So for the first time since moving, I gave myself permission to take it easy during the morning hours my son was at preschool and while my daughter napped. For three mornings, I remained in my pajamas, read light fiction, snacked on whatever I craved, and did whatever I else I felt like doing, like slept. My body got stronger and the impending sickness subsided.
Why did it take me so long to give myself permission to rest? Why is it so hard for many of us to take it easy?
Much of it derives from our productivity-driven society that values hard-work over rest. The latter we label, laziness. Our worth derives from how much we accomplish and how much money we make.
And even though I left my full-time job to resist these very societal messages that wiped me out throughout the years, I still find myself operating on auto-pilot.
That is, until I feel a sickness coming on.
In the Judeo-Christian faith, we have a tradition called the weekly sabbath, which is a day of full rest. Historically, it begins from when the sun sets on one day until the sun sets the next day, lasting about 24 hours. During those 24 hours, we are instructed not to work or participate in any kind of labor—even cooking!
What a lovely commandment and yet one we rarely observe in the modern day.
It’s even tricker when people have kids. How in the world are parents supposed to take a day of rest when parenting itself is a demanding kind of labor? For instance, my 9-month-old daughter woke me up THREE TIMES last night as she yelled for milk.
For those of us with young kids, I think we just have to steal time whenever we get a chance. It may very well be impossible to take a 24 hour sabbath. But, it is possible to do what I did last week: observe a 24 hour sabbath in increments—through the morning hours the kids are in school, during their nap times, after they go to bed, when they're with their grandparents, etc.
My family also recently began a tradition of having a picnic dinner every Friday. We order takeout from a restaurant, dine on a picnic blanket at the park, eat, and play on the grass afterwards. This lovely meal feels like a sabbath meal in and of itself as it immediately eliminates the labor of prepping, cooking, and cleaning. It’s also so much fun.
Last Friday’s picnic at the park
It’s okay to work hard. In fact, working hard and passionately is restorative in and of itself.
But also, remember to take it easy. Give yourself the gift of sabbath days, where you have no appointments, chores, or pending tasks.
Believe me, that long list of chores can wait. The world won’t collapse. During those few mornings I allowed myself to rest, I ignored my very long to-do list which included items such as organizing the kids’ play room and taking out the trash. As I write this, the kids’ play room is still one big hot mess. That’s okay! The kids don’t even notice it!
I see you and know how hard it is for you to go easy on yourself. Your to-do list really can wait. Take a day or even just a few hours to do whatever gives you rest and pleasure…or nothing at all.
You deserve it. You’re worth it. You’re worthy of it.
The perfect Monday to-do list taken from friend, colleague, and sexuality coach, Kimberly.